The Toll Men

If you are a long-time smoker and wish to stop smoking, the following guidelines may be of use in quitting the habit. Smoking has long-term health hazards, as reported in news clips and reports. The habit however is a personal decision, and it all depends on how determined a person is, and what level of abstinence can be practiced in order to stop smoking.

People take to smoking for various reasons. It could be the sheer charm of smoking, joining a group, beating stress, soothing and calming nerves, and so on. The reasons for quitting are commonly health related.

There does not seem to be a trick in quitting a habit. It is easy to fall back and start all over again. Perhaps a slow and steady approach can do the trick when more severe methods have failed.

Here are a few words to guide and reaffirm your determination to quit smoking if you wish to do so:
1. If you keep failing, have faith in yourself. You can do it, if others have done it before.
2. It is important to remind yourself of the reasons you want to quit smoking. Write them down and read them regularly.
3. Seek help from others around, the ones you trust, in talking to you about quitting. When others persuade us, it may work better for some.
4. There are medical substitutes available that help people climb down on the amounts.
5. Setting a deadline by the end of which one must quit can help in some cases.
6. Find out which plan works best for you - an immediate stop, a gradual pulling out, or some combination.
7. Knowing and talking to people who have quit smoking can boost your morale.
8. Smoking could be related to poor health and regimen. Change your regimen and see if it can substitute for the need to smoke.
9. Visualize the lifestyle of a non-smoker, and find out why it is positive and good. This will increase the attraction toward the goal.

For more information on quitting smoking, visit: stop smoking

The author is a freelance writer and associated with www.stop-smoking-guide.info

A new year, a clean slate, a fresh start.

You wish!

Much as we might like to believe that things can be different and better in 2006, we all wake up on January 1 with a nasty hangover.

No, this is not the kind of hangover caused by over-indulging in drink. This is the carryover of all the fears, limiting beliefs, assumptions and assorted blocks that keep us from doing the things we say we want to do - whether that is losing 20 pounds or cleaning out the garage or starting a business.

When the calendar year turns over, our inner obstacles tend to hang around, despite good intentions and determined resolutions.

Now comes what Christie Latona and Janet Fox advocate as a potent cure for this particular kind of hangover. It is to be found in their new book, The Playful Power of Metaphor: Harness the Winds of Creativity, Innovation and Possibility. If you really want a fresh start, these authors say, begin by telling yourself a story. If you really want different and better in 2006, find a metaphor that describes how things are now, or perhaps a metaphor for what you want to see in the future.

The 54-page book, published in November by Fun & Done Press, illustrates by exercises and anecdotes how imagery can help us re-imagine our lives and turn intention into action. Do you feel like a candle in the wind? A deer in the headlights? A babe in the woods? A goldfish in a sea of barracudas? Identifying what your situation is like is an excellent starting point for generating options and alternatives.

Latona and Fox, who are both consultants, coaches and group facilitators, also present the idea of hats as metaphors for roles and perspectives. A surgeon’s cap, for example, can be helpful when clear thinking, not bogged down by emotion, is called for. Metaphorically donning a construction worker’s hardhat is useful when it’s time to move off the blueprint and on to the actual implementation. The graduate’s mortarboard may help us sort out and celebrate what we’ve outgrown, what we’ve gained, and what learning we want to take into the next stage of life.

“Fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, perfectionism, pessimism - all those things that keep us stuck - are really strong forces,” Latona said. “We need something even stronger to fight them. In our work we see every day that stories, similes, images and allegories can be the active ingredients needed to get people moving and thriving.”

The Playful Power of Metaphor is available for $10.95 at http://www.christielatona.com/

Hey I bet you are saying to yourself what does love got to do
with it? That my friend is simple, it’s got everything to do
with it! You can’t stand there and tell me or even sit there and
tell me that love doesn’t have or play a huge roll in your life!

It has everything to do with you. You want to find a mate and be
loved, don’t you? Say yes, because I know this to be true. Now
why is it are primal interest to love and be loved? When Adam
was alone in the Garden of Eden, he got lonely and God in his
infinite wisdom, decide to make Adam a mate, from his own rib
even.

Now why would Adam become lonely in the Garden of Eden, a
perfect place? Now do you see were the very first love and be
loved took place? That’s right with the very first person and
God agreed with him, so he really must have been lonely and
wanted to be loved!

Now we know for a fact that God loved Adam and perfectly I might
add, but why was that not good enough for the human race? It’s
simple he felt the need to be loved by another human to be
complete.

Now do you feel that God made a mistake here? I mean he is the
all knowing, the alpha the omega, the begging and the end, so it
would seem that he knew it all, does that make sense to you so
far?

Well if he knew already that Adam was going to get lonely, why
wouldn’t he have created Eve at the same time? We’ve already
stated he knows all, so why make Adam suffer all those years?
Was it because he loved to see him in pain? I think not!

Now here goes another one of my crazy theories, God knew Adam
would indeed get lonely, so this was no big surprise to him.
What we don’t understand is why God didn’t make Eva right from
the get go? Why not you may be asking, well that’s a very good
question you asked and I’ll do my best to answer this question
of yours.

It’s sort of like this God knew Adam would get lonely, but he
also knew that we as humans built in his own image, would get
lonely by ourselves and that we would need a mate. The two shall
leave there home and become one. Now here is the tricky part of
the whole thing! God knew that Adam and Eve would eat the so
called forbidden fruit of good and evil, knowing this he created
them anyway, not because he didn’t love them but because of the
fact that he loved them.

Now here is were it gets heavy. The so called first sin was
actually the first realization that we are part of God, the Holy
Spirit will never leave or forsake you, and do you believe that
statement? Well my friend Jesus himself said this and as far as
I know he was the only sinless soul. Now would you agree with me
on this?

Ok we have established that fact that we come from God and we
have the Holy Sprit with us always. Has it ever occurred to you
that we are collaborators in creation? What this means is God in
his infinite wisdom, knew that Adam was incomplete and knew he
needed a mate and he also gave us free will.

Now on ward this free will was not the first sin as we
suspected, it was actually that we were human beings and
connected to God. Yes God wanted it from the get go, for there
to be a man and a woman. Why then was Adam lonely, it was God
experiencing this, all of Adams feeling and this is why we are
called collaborators in creation.

Now when God and Adam grew tired of being lonely and wanted
another person to be with them, he created Eva, now adding a new
dimension to the relationship, was two humans together both one
with God, yet they were creating their time together and God was
pleased and he was now exercising the joy of a complete human
race.

So Adam and Eva feel in love in the human form and were
collaborators in creation with God, that brought his
understanding of the human relationship and how he was
experiencing the relationship with them and all humans to come
for generation and generations and it all started with the
basics of love is all there is and when God felt that he needed
more than the human races feeling, he then sent his only son The
Jesus to earth to feel all that was left out with just human
relationships.

He experienced love of the only true form and that would be
Jesus, the only sinless soul, who would transform this thing we
call death, which started when we first realized that we where
part of God.

Now can you see how that love is all there is and God created us
to love one another and the two shall become one and love thy
neighbor as you love thy self, so yes love does play a big role
in the workings of the whole universe and yes love is all there
is!

So you’re stuck in a rut, bored with how your life is, and you can’t think of how to get through this period. Einstein defined insanity as “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” So stop being insane…and try something new.

Now I’m not saying you totally change everything you do, and everything you’re about. I’m recommending you take baby steps, and change 1 thing a month. Try this: Start getting up an hour earlier every day for 30 days, so you can get used to getting up with enough time to do something extra in the mornings. After 30 days, if you find it’s not working for you or you’re too tired or whatever your excuse is, then fine, stop doing it. Next month, try something else new. Maybe you take up a new hobby, maybe you start listening to books on tape/CD/MP3 on the way to and from work, or maybe you cut out sweets for 30 days. Try something new and different for 30 days, next month try another thing new, then another, and another, and eventually you’ll have a whole bunch of new stuff you can say you at least tried, and I’ll bet you find a few things you want to keep doing, or that you want to share with your friends, family and others.

There are so many ways to make it great, if you’re willing to try 1 new thing a month.

Phil Gerbyshak leads a team as manager of an IT Help Desk in Milwaukee, WI, and finds that sharing his knowledge is a crucial component for in his success as a leader and as a person. Phil’s personal philosophy is paraphrased from Tim Sanders’ fantastic book Love is the Killer App: “Share your knowledge, your network, and your love. The rest will follow.” Check out his website at http://www.makeitgreat.org for more information about Phil and for other tips on how to make it great!

There is no accomplishment that has not been tested by life. Success is never a pain-free process. If you have a dream and want to see it come through, you must be ready to show faith in it, during the darkest, most difficult moments. How many of you reached a point when you said “Enough! I give up!” I bet, many. Even I am one among you. But, the truth is that, if you persevere, if you go past the “I give up” phase, if you affirm your faith in your dream, then the Invisible Examiner will see that you are serious about your purpose and will grant you success. Remember, the only way to pass the Examiner’s test is to show faith in action. Here’s how you do it:

Faith Is Like Love: We Must Prove It with Actions

When you love someone with all your heart, you accept that person as who he or she is, including their imperfections and shortcomings. You don’t say “I love you for this, but I hate you for that”, right? And, when the person you love needs your help you do give it, unconditionally. The same happens with faith. When you have faith in your dream, you do so despite the challenges your dream will bring in your path. It’s your dream and it depends only on your actions to fulfill it. So, when the path to fulfillment gets rough, you don’t give up. You show faith, much as you show love for someone when they are going through a hard time that makes that person difficult to deal with.

An example of unshakable faith is J. K. Rowling, the author of “Harry Potter”. She wrote most of her first “Harry Potter” book in coffee shops, because they were heated and she could not afford to pay for heat in her apartment. A single mother without childcare, she carried her baby daughter in a stroller that she kept by her side while writing away Harry Potter’s story, moved by an inner need to continue on until her book was finished. When she submitted her book, it was at first rejected by a number of publishers. She never gave up. Showing faith in her dream through actions, she persevered. She knew all along that writing Harry Potter was her only option, even though she had no way of proving that it would ever become such a tremendous, tremendous success. Her faith in her dream was so strong that lit her path even when it seemed completely dark and hopeless to others. She passed all the tests of her Invisible Examiner with flying colors, until she proved that her faith was stronger than her challenges.

How to Pass the Test of Faith in Your Dream

You too can you show unshakable faith in your dream! Here are some tips to follow when the Examiner tests you and wants to see that you mean business:

1. Meditate. Use silence to connect with your inner core, your creative source, and draw strength and inspiration to pursue your dream.

2. Stay connected with your dream. Write it as a statement and read it again and again. Or create a collage or a drawing of your dream, and keep it in a visible place, so you can see it frequently. It’s amazing how much this simple activity can re-energize your faith.

3. Talk with your inner mentor, or reach out to your physical mentor. In Reel Fulfillment: A 12-Step Plan for Transforming Your Life through Movies,, I walk you through the steps of doing this.

4. Talk to an ally. This can be a friend, a coach, your minister, someone you trust and who cares about you.

5. Keep checking your results. Keep a log of your progress, to remind yourself how far you have come since you began pursuing your dream.

6. Ask yourself: “Would I want to go back to where I was before I started pursuing my heart’s desire?” Answer honestly, running through your mind all the aspects of your former life. As long as your answer is, “No way!” you’re on the right track

7. Watch a film with your favorite character who also inspires you. Afterwards, have an imaginary dialogue with him or her. In Reel Fulfillment I show you how to do that.

8. Do one thing that brings your closer to your dream when your faith is challenged. This is how you show your Invisible Examiner that you are not shunned by tests. For example, if you want to be a famous author but your manuscript just got rejected, write a short article and publish it in a local newspaper, or on the internet. You will feel better and continue to look for a publisher who will accept your manuscript.

How Movies Can Help You Stay True to Your Dreams

As your faith in your dreams is challenged, tested or questioned, movies can be great allies to keep you on track. This is what you can do: from the following list, pick one or more movies and watch them alone or with friends.

• Field of Dreams
• October Sky
• Billy Elliot
• Working Girl
• Real Women Have Curves

Questions to answer:

1. What is the main character’s dream and what challenges he/she face?.

2. Through what concrete actions does the main character show faith in his/her dream?

3. How does the universe help the main character after he/she passes the test of Faith?

4. How does the character inspire you to strengthen faith in your dream?

5. Now that you watched this movie, what will you do differently to stay true to your dream?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Maria Grace, Ph.D., is an expert at teaching people how to learn lessons from popular movies to find the job, home, relationship, and healthy body and mind they want. She is a Fulbright scholar, licensed psychotherapist, sought-after public speaker and coach, and the author of “Reel Fulfillment: A 12-Step Plan for Transforming Your Life through Movies” (McGraw-Hill, 2005). “Reel Fulfillment” was praised by Publisher’s Weekly as one of the top “self help books out of the self-help box” for 2005-2006.

For more information visit http://www.mariagrace.com and http://www.reelfulfillment.com

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.” - Aristotle

January is typically the time of year when we pledge ourselves to all kinds of New Year’s resolutions designed to make our lives better. There are common themes to these resolutions like losing weight, quitting smoking, or getting healthy. During the first few weeks, efforts to change are usually very strong. Gradually the motivation slows down and eventually wanes away to a distant memory in the backs of our minds. Instead of participating in this frustrating cycle, make the commitment to become the best person that you can be all year round - a commitment to excellence.

The difference of committing to excellence is that you are changing more than just the surface; there is a shift in how you approach everything that you do. Excellence can be defined in many different ways for many different people. It depends on what your priorities are and what you value in your life. Maybe it’s the relationships you have, or the work that you do, or the people that you help. Whatever it is, dedicate yourself to being the best that you can be regardless of other people’s standards. Remember also, that this is a change you will make from this point forward. Excellence is not defined by a single act, but by consistent behavior.

There are many ways that you can approach this commitment, but I would recommend formalizing the process. Writing your ideas down on paper can help you to sort out your thoughts and make it more concrete. Some simple steps might include:

1) List all the things that you value, and that give your life importance

2) Prioritize the items on the list

3) On a scale from 1 - 10 (1 = I am not doing my best and 10 = I am doing the best that I can) rank how you think you are doing in each area

4) Take an honest look at your list, and make a commitment to dedicate your energies to making improvements where needed

Committing to excellence will also change the language that you use. Instead of thinking to yourself “I will survive” or “I can make it through”, say instead, “I’m going to get the most out of this” or “I’ll do the very best that I can”. Focusing on what you are doing when you are doing it will ignite your spirit and fire your energy. Surround yourself with people who inspire you, and share your inspiration with others. Aspire to reach beyond. Live excellence.

Dr. Tanja Haley is a psychologist in private practice in Calgary, Alberta. She specializes in working with couples, and with adults dealing with stress, depression, and trauma issues. Along with a full-time private practice, Tanja also teaches for the Campus Alberta program in counselling and is an Oral Examiner for the College of Alberta Psychologists. You can contact Tanja at dr.tanja@shaw.ca, or visit her website: http://www.drtanja.com