When it comes to gardening, gardeners are of two minds. While
some gardeners prefer to buy young seedlings and transplant them
in the garden, other gardeners prefer the control and the sense
of accomplishment that comes with planting flowers and plants
directly from seeds.
Planting from seed has a lot to recommend it. For one thing,
although transplanting seedlings can provide a good head start
for the gardener, it can also introduce problems like disease or
insect infestation to an established garden plot.
Planting from seed helps gardeners to avoid these problems. It
is not difficult to plant from seed, but it is vital to read and
follow the instructions on the seed packet for best results. As
with other types of gardening, it is important to follow the
instructions carefully. It is also important to protect the
seeds and the delicate seedlings as they grow.
Whenever you plant seeds, it is a good idea to use a quality
growing tray. It is important to choose the right growing tray,
and you can get recommendations from your local nursery or
garden center on the best type of tray for your needs. After you
have the tray and the seeds in hand, the next step is to fill
that growing tray with a high quality seed mixture. This type of
product is also called a seed starting mix, and it is similar in
consistency to potting soil. Another advantage of the seed
starting mix is that it is sterile, and free of diseases and
garden pests.
After the growing tray has been prepared, the seeds should then
be placed in the seed starting mix. The rule of thumb when
planting seeds is to plant them at least twice their own depth.
In some cases, such as with very small seeds, you may want to
simply dust the seeds with a light coating of seed mix, since if
they are buried too deep they may not be able to sprout.
After the seeds have been planted in the tray, they should be
labeled, using either sticks printed with a waterproof marker or
actual nursery labels. Do not use the seed packets as labels,
since they will quickly disintegrate from moisture as the seeds
are watered.
Only a misting sprayer should be used to provide water to the
newly planted seeds. If you use a hose or watering can, you
could inadvertently dislodge the seed medium or uncover the
seeds. The growing tray should be covered in order to prevent
the moisture from evaporating. A covered tray will also
encourage the germination of the seeds.
Another thing that can speed up the germination of newly planted
seeds is heat. Heat has been shown to speed up the germination
of seeds, and this is a technique used by many successful
gardeners. Another favorite technique of gardeners is to use a
bell jar to protect delicate seedlings from late frost. If bell
jars cannot be found, a regular water bottle with the bottom cut
off makes a good replacement.
“My husband won’t show me his feelings.” We hear it over and over again from frustrated wives. And a husband who won’t share emotions can be an obstacle to a better marriage. Why?
True intimacy - the closeness that results when two people can honestly share deep feelings - is elusive when one partner can’t or won’t reveal who he truly is emotionally.
I believe that finding intimacy in a marriage is made more difficult because of the way boys are raised in most societies. We’re taught to never show pain or allow ourselves to be vulnerable. Feelings are for girls.
When I grew up, this was the accepted definition of what manliness was all about. You solved problems or played sports if you were a boy. Many men raised in this model have never known any other reality, and they take this attitude into their marriage.
The sad result too often is missed opportunities at happiness, embittered partners, even divorce. Sometimes after years of marriage, couples ask us, “What went wrong in our marriage?”
What I found out was a secret that has given me a great marriage and been a key to a successful life.
The secret is this: Emotions are a source of strength and power. And by being sensitive to what you’re feeling and being real with your spouse regarding your emotions in a positive way, you can set the stage for a wonderful, rewarding and fulfilling marriage.
Men who never tap into their feelings don’t realize that they could have more joy, spontaneity, laughter, and better sex in their marriage by following a simple prescription. But at some level, many are afraid of confronting feelings, especially negative ones, because they haven’t developed the skills to handle them appropriately.
When many couples have a fight, the usual response from both partners is defensiveness and mutual blame. The predictable outcome in the marriage is a downward spiral. Couples may shut down emotionally, intimacy is lost and the quality of the marriage suffers.
But a paradox in relationships is that moments of conflict hold the greatest potential for emotional intimacy. This can happen when the partners take responsibility for working on themselves rather than getting caught up in blaming the other.
Here are some guidelines that will help both partners to use their feelings to improve their marriage:
1. Realize that emotions can be a powerful ally in helping you get what you want in your marriage relationship. Be open to the possibility that feelings (even negative emotions) offer the potential and power to create a win-win situation for yourself and your spouse. Be aware that showing emotions appropriately can be a path to strength and success.
2. Notice what emotions you feel when you’re with your spouse. Don’t hold back in showing your spouse positive feelings like love, appreciation, and respect. But pay special attention when you’re upset or feeling angry. It’s been said that there are really only two basic emotions - love and fear.
If you’re feeling some negative emotion like anger, stop and take a deep breath. Deep down, you may have some fear that is being activated. Ask yourself: “What fear does this situation bring up for me?” Be willing to share those fears with your spouse, using “I” statements rather than “you.”
You might say something like: “When you made us late last night to the party my first reaction was to get mad at you. Then I realized I really felt embarrassed because I was afraid our friends would think I wasn’t reliable.”
Take responsibility for your emotions and adopt the attitude of “How can I use this experience to grow?”
3. Remember to be kind to your spouse, even while disagreeing. You can use compassion while gently voicing your concerns. Choose your words carefully. Never stomp on the vulnerable side that your spouse shows. And ask her (or him) to show you the same respect.
It’s important to learn to tolerate your emotional discomfort during an argument without lashing out at your spouse. It can take courage to maintain courtesy and respect for your spouse even in the midst of disagreement. But it’s well worth it.
Reaching for true intimacy requires opening up some part of yourself that is tender and easily hurt. That part is your innermost self - the sacred ground of the spirit. It is tender grass that an insensitive partner could easily trample on. Make sure you don’t step on your spouse’s feelings when she shares them with you.
4. Be willing to take responsibility for your side in a disagreement and apologize for your part. Above all, avoid blaming your spouse.
Even if you feel justified in criticizing your spouse, use moderation. Recognition from you that every disagreement has two sides and that you respect her right to have her own perception will go a long way toward ending a quarrel. This creates an opening for reconciliation.
Sharing feelings can be scary for men, because it goes against ingrained beliefs and habits about what it means to be male in this society. But in a relationship of compassion and trust, the sharing of deep emotions can create a marriage of profound intimacy that can only be described as a soul connection.
And this type of relationship has universal appeal. Because happiness is a currency that everyone wants.
Lee Hefner is the co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says “I don’t love you anymore!” This e-book is available at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com. You can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine to get weekly ideas and support to help you save your marriage.
Credit scores - especially FICO® scores, the most widely used credit bureau scores - have made big improvements in the credit process. Because of credit scores:
People can get loans faster. Scores can be delivered almost instantaneously, helping lenders speed up loan approvals. Today many credit decisions can be made within minutes. Even a mortgage application can be approved in hours instead of weeks for borrowers who score above a lender’s “score cutoff”. Scoring also allows retail stores, Internet sites and other lenders to make “instant credit” decisions.
Credit decisions are fairer. Using credit scoring, lenders can focus only on the facts related to credit risk, rather than their personal feelings. Factors like your gender, race, religion, nationality and marital status are not considered by credit scoring.
Credit “mistakes” count for less. If you have had poor credit performance in the past, credit scoring doesn’t let that haunt you forever. Past credit problems fade as time passes and as recent good payment patterns show up on your credit report. Unlike so-called “knock out rules” that turn down borrowers based solely on a past problem in their file, credit scoring weighs all of the credit-related information, both good and bad, in your credit report.
More credit is available. Lenders who use credit scoring can approve more loans, because credit scoring gives them more precise information on which to base credit decisions. It allows lenders to identify individuals who are likely to perform well in the future, even though their credit report shows past problems. Even people whose scores are lower than a lender’s cutoff for “automatic approval” benefit from scoring. Many lenders offer a choice of credit products geared to different risk levels. Most have their own separate guidelines, so if you are turned down by one lender, another may approve your loan. The use of credit scores gives lenders the confidence to offer credit to more people, since they have a better understanding of the risk they are taking on.
Credit rates are lower overall. With more credit available, the cost of credit for borrowers decreases. Automated credit processes, including credit scoring, make the credit granting process more efficient and less costly for lenders, who in turn have passed savings on to their customers. And by controlling credit losses using scoring, lenders can make rates lower overall. Mortgage rates are lower in the United States than in Europe, for example, in part because of the information - including credit scores - available to lenders here. Knowing and improving your score can also lead to more favorable interest rates
Myra Golden runs a credit score reapir agency, a complete resource for improving your credit score. For credit score repair help, including tips for understanding your credit score, disputing items, dealing with collection agencies, getting credit card interest rates reduced, ways to legally improve your credit score and much, much more, visit:
www.creditscorerepair.us
